


This Is No Hallmark Movie

by rose_megan



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Falling In Love, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pneumonia, Sick Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-08
Updated: 2020-12-08
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:15:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27965159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rose_megan/pseuds/rose_megan
Summary: “Buck..” Eddie breathed out, feeling tears prick at the corner of his eyes. He stepped to the side of the bed and reached for Buck’s hand, intertwining his fingers with Buck’s still, cold ones. He stood there, watching the suddenly very frail-looking man in the bed, watching his chest rise and fall and willing it to keep going.ORBuck's impromptu trip to the ICU has Eddie crash-landing into the realization that he's deeply, madly in love with his best friend.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 37
Kudos: 447
Collections: 25 (More) Days Of Buddie





	This Is No Hallmark Movie

**Author's Note:**

> Yay it's heeeeere! Big thanks to everyone in the Buddie discord and for being understanding on my being late for Day 7 for the prompt "Hot Chocolate is the Best Medicine". 
> 
> This is not at ALL where I thought this fic would go, but sometimes they get a mind of their own I guess lol

When Eddie’s phone rang at four in the morning, his mind immediately went to Buck. He’s not sure why, but it did. He knew Christopher was sleeping soundly in his bed across the hall, and his Abuela and Aunt Pepa were back in El Paso for Christmas. There was no one else that would be calling him at this hour.

He blearily reached for the device that lay on his bedside table charging, disconnecting it from the cord and pulling it to his face. A number that Eddie didn’t recognize lit up the screen and a pang of fear shot through him as he slid the button on the screen to answer,

“hello?” His voice was gruff and muddled from sleep.

“Hi, I’m trying to reach an Eddie Diaz?” The voice on the other end was gentle; soft around the edges. Eddie immediately knew something was wrong.

“This is him,” he replied, sitting up in bed and swinging his legs over the edge. His feet hit the floor with a soft _thud_. “Who is this?”

“My name is Emily, I’m a patient advocate at Los Angeles Community Hospital.” Her words felt like bullets as Eddie’s heart quickened his chest, the anxiety rising. “You’re listed as the emergency contact for an Evan Buckley?”

“Oh god…” Eddie breathed out, his breath hitching in his throat. The edges of his vision blurred as thousands of thoughts rushed into his head all at once. Was Buck working tonight? No, that doesn’t make sense, Bobby would have been called. Had he been in an accident? Was he sick? Was he dead? Eddie could feel his chest tighten as he struggled to get another word out, his voice catching in his throat.

“Is he...” He stammered; the words frozen on his tongue.

“He’s here in the ICU,” Emily rescued him from his panic, if only for a brief moment. “He was brought in a couple of hours ago.”

“What happened?” Eddie croaked out, the panic no longer paralyzing him and instead, spurring him forward. He lunged to his dresser and withdrew a pair of jeans and yanked them up his body, buttoning them with one hand while he fished a Henley out of another drawer all while the phone was propped between his shoulder and ear.

“Unfortunately, I cannot go into any detail over the phone,” Emily replied, “but once you arrive, we’ll see what can be shared.”

“Okay, I’ll be about thirty minutes.”

After hastily pulling the shirt over his head, he spent barely another 45 seconds pulling on a pair of boots and sprinting to Christopher’s room. He threw the covers off of him and scooped him up into his arms.

“Whaa…?” Chris’ voice slurred as he came to, reaching up to rub his sleep-filled eyes. “Dad?”

Eddie didn’t reply; he merely grabbed his son’s crutches and made his way to the front door, balancing Christopher and his crutches in one arm while he grabbed his keys and swung the door open with the other. Once they were settled in the truck and speeding toward Hen’s house -which was thankfully on the way to the hospital and who Eddie had quickly texted as he was getting into the vehicle- Eddie finally spoke,

“Mijo,” he sighed, “Buck is sick and he’s in the hospital. They’re taking good care of him, but I have to go see him.”

“I wanna come!” Chris yelled out, his voice ringing through the truck. He was obviously suddenly very scared. His Buck was in the hospital, why wouldn’t he be?

“I know Bud,” Eddie reached back and placed a comforting hand on Christopher’s knee, “but now isn’t the best time. You’re gonna go with Hen and Karen and have a sleepover with Denny, okay?”

Chris shook his head, crossing his arms in front of his chest, but he didn’t say anything else. Eddie knew he was upset, but who knows what was wrong with Buck? He could be seriously injured or gravely ill; he wasn’t about to subject Christopher to whatever sight might be awaiting him in the ICU. He couldn’t help but dwell on it; what in the hell happened between now and when he’d seen Buck three days ago? If he was being honest, he didn’t get to see Buck all that much during their last shift. It had been a long one, with hardly any time between calls, and the only time they spoke was while they were cutting through a wall, prying a car door open, or spraying a building down with a firehose. Had he given any indication that he wasn’t feeling well? Eddie wasn’t sure, and he couldn’t feel more guilty.

As promised, approximately 30 minutes following his conversation with Emily, Eddie was striding into the main entrance of Los Angeles Community Hospital. The lobby was fully decked out in Christmas decorations - a towering Christmas tree standing ornately under the chandelier in front of the doors greeted him first. Tinsel, ornaments, and twinkling lights were strung about the rest of the space. He approached the information counter, which was not spared from the Christmas cheer, carding his hand through his hair before speaking.

“I’m here for Evan Buckley,” he breathed out, his voice shaking much more than he expected. “They said he’s in the ICU.”

“Are you family?” The man asked him, eyeing him before turning to the computer and typing something.

If Eddie’s being completely honest, it almost felt natural – what came out of his mouth next. He doesn’t have any fucking idea why he chose to say it, or how the words seemed to flow like he’s said them a thousand times before, but it almost felt… Right.

“Yes, I’m his fiancé.” The words tumbled out before he could even kind of form a thought against them. “Please, where is he?”

“Take the north elevator to the fourth floor,” the man looked at him with empathy now, his eyes softened and the creases in his forehead smoothed, “the ICU desk will be right in front of you, they’ll be able to tell you more.”

Eddie nodded his thanks and turned left, heading for the indicated elevator. He willed himself to calm down as he waited for the car to reach him, watching the numbers tick down on the screen above the closed doors. Why had he said fiancé? He could rationalize that he just wanted to make sure he wouldn’t be barred from seeing him, and that they would tell him about his condition. But he was listed as his emergency contact, that alone would probably have been enough, right? But he wasn’t actually family. That was Maddie, whom Eddie knew was going to murder him for not calling her immediately, but he had to know what happened first. He wanted to be able to prepare her for whatever had happened that landed Buck in the ICU.

While he was thinking about it, his mind wandered to the fact that he had been the one to be called. Why not Bobby? Had they tried him and couldn’t reach him? That wasn’t like him. Had Buck changed his emergency contact list? Why did Eddie care so much?

Okay, so maybe that last question wasn’t so much of a mystery. Eddie nor Buck were exactly discreet with their flirting around the station, or especially after-hours when the team went out to the karaoke bar. That’s really all it was – flirting. But Eddie knew something else was stirring inside him. When Buck would come over and watch movies with him and Christopher, and the night would almost always end with Chris curled into Buck’s chest as they lay on the couch. The latter would wrap his strong arms snuggly around the boy in a warm embrace that made Eddie’s heart melt to see it. In those moments, it was all Eddie could do to keep from curling up with them. It was more than flirting, Eddie knew it. It had been for a long time. If something happened to Buck, he wasn’t sure how he would handle it.

The doors opened on the fourth floor, and Eddie wondered for a moment when he even got on the elevator. He stepped off and looked around, spotting the promised information desk about eight feet in front of him. It only took three long strides for Eddie to reach it, dropping his hands on the counter.

“I’m looking for Evan Buckley,” the words were stronger this time, “I’m Eddie Diaz,” he paused, “his fiancé.”

“I’m Jonathan, I’m actually Mr. Buckley’s nurse,” the man behind the counter stood and nodded a hello, “let me take you to his room.”

“What happened?” Eddie reached out and grabbed on to Jonathan’s arm, stopping him, “I don’t know what’s happened. We haven’t seen each other in three days, so I don’t know… They didn’t tell me on the phone…”

“Oh.” Jonathan turned, facing Eddie, “sir, Evan was brought in after he called 9-1-1 for difficulty breathing. When the EMTs arrive, he was not conscious. It turns out he has a severe case of pneumonia with fluid in both lungs.”

“He wasn’t even sick…” Eddie breathed out, feeling like the air was taken out of his own chest, “he was fine. I talked to him yesterday.”

“He’s ventilated right now,” Jonathan continued, resting a reassuring hand on Eddie’s arm, “it seems drastic, but trust me, it’s for the best. He should be off the ventilator and out of the ICU by tomorrow as long as his oxygen levels start coming up overnight.”

Eddie suddenly lost the ability to form words. Any attempt got stuck in his throat and he merely nodded, waiting for Jonathan to lead him to Buck. In his shock, he wasn’t able to prepare himself for what he would see when he walked through the door. As he entered, Buck came into view and Eddie audibly gasped. He was deathly pale, and his nose and ears were tinged blue. Winding blue tubing was running from a ventilator to Buck’s face, attached to his mouth and nose, and he also had at least three IVs that Eddie could see. As he stepped further in, he saw the blood pressure cuff on his arm and the EKG stickers on his chest monitoring his heart. How in the hell had he gone from seemingly perfectly healthy three and a half days ago, to _this?_

“Buck..” Eddie breathed out, feeling tears prick at the corner of his eyes. He stepped to the side of the bed and reached for Buck’s hand, intertwining his fingers with Buck’s still, cold ones. He stood there, watching the suddenly very frail-looking man in the bed, watching his chest rise and fall and willing it to keep going.

He wasn’t sure how long he stood there like that, just watching Buck, with their hands clasped together so tightly he no longer could tell where his hand ended and Buck’s began, but it was long enough for the sun to just barely begin peaking up over the clouds, its rays sending streaks of light across the ceiling. Eddie inhaled shakily, drawing his phone out of his pocket and finding Maddie’s contact. He tapped the “call” button and brought the device up to his ear, barely registering the ringing before Maddie’s groggy voice came through.

“Eddie?” She had obviously been asleep. “What’s wrong? Is it Buck?”

“Yes,” Eddie barely got it out, his voice cracking with emotion, “he has pneumonia. He’s in the ICU.”

“Pneumonia?” She sounded more awake now, and very panicked. “How? I talked to him two days ago, he was fine.”

“I know.” Eddie looked down at Buck’s still form, suddenly feeling the weight of the emotion against his bones. His eyes felt heavy in his head and he let it fall forward, his chin dropping against his chest. “Apparently, he called 9-1-1 late last night for difficulty breathing, and he wasn’t conscious when they got there. He’s on a ventilator now.”

“A ventilator?” It was evident she was crying now. “He’s not breathing on his own?”

“They said he should be off of it by today, maybe,” Eddie replied, “they said he has fluid in both lungs.”

“Oh my god, okay, I’m on my way.”

Eddie mumbled a quick goodbye, though he wasn’t sure if Maddie was even on the line anymore. He dropped the phone back into his pocket before extricating his hand from Buck’s to turn and find a chair. He knew he was going to be a there for a while, he might as well make himself as comfortable as possible.

***

“A while” turned out to be close to ten hours.

About 45-minutes after getting off the phone with Maddie, she and Chimney shuffled into the room, the latter toting nine-month-old Charlotte and her diaper bag. Maddie rushed to Buck’s bedside that Eddie wasn’t already occupying, taking up his hand in both of hers.

“Oh my god, Evan,” she cried, bring his hand up to kiss it gently. “Evan, why didn’t you tell us you were sick?”

Of course, no answer came; just the steady beeping of the heart monitor and the rhythmic _woosh_ of the ventilator as it breathed for Buck. Chimney stayed for a while before Charlotte began getting fussy. He left, letting Eddie and Maddie know not to worry, that he’d let the everyone else know what was going on and that he would let Bobby know Eddie wouldn’t be in to work that day. Eddie nodded his thanks and Maddie gave both Chim and Charlotte kisses goodbye before taking up post in her spot beside Buck again.

And that’s where they sat for the remainder of the day.

They tried to make conversation a few times, with Eddie asking about Charlotte’s sleeping schedule, or Maddie asking about Christopher’s school, but the conversation always lapsed as quickly as it began. They sat opposite each other, on either side of Buck, both holding one of his hands in their own. The beeps and whirs of the machines had long-since blended into the environment and they simply waited, willing the fluid in his lungs to drain and the oxygen to return to his body.

Finally, around 9PM, a technologist and a nurse wheeled a portable x-ray machine into Buck’s room and began prepping him for a scan. They gently turned him on his side, placing the x-ray cassette under him before placing him back down on to the tray. This scan would tell them if the fluid had begun to dissipate. They already knew that his oxygen saturation had steadily risen throughout the day, from a horrifyingly low 75%, to 89%, and the x-ray would confirm that the fluid was draining adequately. The antibiotics and prescription-grade decongestants were working to make sure no more fluid or mucus built up, and as Eddie stepped behind the tech as they took the x-rays, he prayed to a god he hadn’t prayed to since he was in Afghanistan that they would give them good news.

***

It was almost an hour later when Buck’s doctor entered the room. The short but commanding woman sauntered up to the foot of the bed, resting her hands on the railing.

“His scans looked _great_.” She wasted no time in telling them the news, for which Eddie was so grateful. “I won’t bore you with all the details, but the fluid is draining, and his oxygen has risen significantly. We can remove the endotracheal tube tonight and wake him up tomorrow.”

Eddie could cry. The doctor continued speaking but the words were muddled, so he hoped Maddie was paying attention. He looked down at Buck’s still form and all of the fear and anxiety that had gripped him for the last 16 hours drained from his body, leaving nothing but debilitating exhaustion and relief. He stumbled and fell back into the chair he had been sitting in, waving a hand to dismiss the doctor’s and Maddie’s worried expression. A shaky inhalation held the tears at bay for a moment, and he closed his eyes, blindly reaching for Buck’s hand in front of him. He held it in a vice, the tears escaping and rolling, unchecked, down his face. After a moment, he felt comforting hands on his shoulders that he assumed were Maddie’s, but he barely noticed her. All he could pay attention to was the feeling of Buck’s skin under his fingers – cold and rough, callouses peppered across his fingertips and the surface cracked and dry from hours sitting there cold and still. He could feel Buck’s steady heartbeat under his fingers at his pulse point, and he could rejoice in it. The rhythmic pulsing reminding Eddie that Buck was alive. He was going to be okay. His Evan was going to come back to him.

And when the next realization hit him, a strangled sob escaped his throat. He leaned his head down, resting his forehead against the back of Buck’s hand. He tried to take some deep breaths to dispel the feeling of panic that was rising in his throat, to no avail. He knew he had feelings for Buck but in that moment, when the threat of him being taken away was finally gone, he realized he was in love with him. So ridiculously and deeply in love with him.

It wasn’t an earth-shattering, life-altering realization. He’d known he was bisexual since high school. This wasn’t a poorly written Hallmark Christmas movie about coming out of the closet, but he was feeling like everything he thought he knew, everything he was sure of, was suddenly very wrong.

“Eddie, he’s gonna be fine,” Maddie spoke now, and he realized she’d taken to kneeling beside him, her hand resting on his knee. “The doctor said he’ll be out of the ICU tomorrow when they wake him up.”

“I know,” he hiccupped, raising his heavy head to meet her gaze with glistening eyes, “I just… I lo-“ he choked on the words, rendering him speechless as another sob broke from his throat. He hadn’t felt this vulnerable in a very long time.

“I know.” Maddie surged forward and wrapped him in a hug, which he returned gratefully. “I know, Eddie.”

***

It was four PM the next day when Buck finally opened his eyes. The curtains were drawn at the window, allowing for just the slightest bit of light to sneak into the room. Eddie had requested that Hen bring Christopher by that morning, along with some Christmas decorations. Eddie knew that Buck adored Christmas, and they hadn’t had the chance to decorate the station yet, so he wanted his room to be nice and festive for him for when he woke up. The Diaz boys spent the morning hanging tinsel around the window, winding lights around Buck’s IV pole, and plastering little Santa Clauses, stars, and snowflakes to the walls. By the time they were finished, the place looked perfect and Eddie couldn’t wait for Buck to wake up and see it.

Well, Eddie just couldn’t wait for Buck to wake up.

He’d been moved to a regular room early in the morning after being extubated around 11 the previous night. He was going to be on supplemental oxygen for a while, but that was to be expected. Maddie was at home tending to Charlotte, promising to return when Chim got off work that evening. When he awoke around 4 o’clock, Christopher had just gone down to the cafeteria with Bobby and Harry, while Eddie was sitting in his usual spot; beside Buck’s bed, his hand encased in his own.

“Eddie?” His voice was impossibly raspy, barely a whisper. Eddie probably wouldn’t have heard him if he wasn’t looking right at him.

“Evan, I’m here.” His grip on his hand tightened and he leaned forward, sitting at the edge of his seat. “I’m right here Sweetheart.”

If Buck noticed the pet name, he didn’t acknowledge it out loud. He just blinked, adjusting to the light before meeting Eddie’s gaze.

“Hospital?”

“Yeah,” Eddie nodded, feeling the tears gathering, and goddamn it how much had he cried in the last two days because of this man? “You have pneumonia. You called 9-1-1 a couple of days ago for trouble breathing and they brought you in. You were in the ICU on a ventilator for a day and you were taken off last night.”

Buck just groaned, his eyes sliding shut again.

“Evan,” Eddie started, using Buck’s given name again, “you’ve gotta tell us when you’re not feeling well, man.” He detached one of his hands from Buck’s and reached up, gently stroking his forehead with his thumb and his fingers threading through his unkempt curls.

“M’sorry,” Buck mumbled. “Thought it was just a cold.”

“Please tell me next time,” Eddie whispered, scooting closer and bringing Buck’s hand up to his mouth to place a gentle kiss on his knuckles. “Even if you think it’s just a cold. Tell me.”

Buck’s eyes slid open now, looking over at Eddie with curiosity. Not disdain, or disgust, or rejection – just curiosity. Eddie took it as a sign to charge ahead.

“Evan,” he inhaled, and dove in headfirst, “I love you. I’ve loved you for so long and being here for the last two days, waiting for you to wake up. Knowing you couldn’t even breathe on your own… It killed me.”

Buck was more aware now, but his expression was unreadable. He didn’t remove his hand from Eddie’s, though.

“I want you there on Christmas morning, opening presents and taking pictures of Chris,” Eddie continued, his hand traveling to Buck’s cheek to rest there, “I want you to come to parent/teacher conferences. I want you to make dinner for us before we build a blanket fort in the living room. I want you to come home with me after work. Our home. I want you every day, in every way, Evan. And if you don’t remember this later, I’ll say it all again, because I love you. I love you so much.”

He was nearly panting by the time he finished speaking, the words hanging heavy in the air. The silence seemed to stretch on for hours, but it was actually just a moment later that Eddie saw tears building in Buck’s beautiful blue eyes. He heart beat hard against his chest as he reached up with his other hand and cradled Buck’s face, his thumbs stroking his cheeks.

“Eddie,” Buck rasped out, shaky hands reaching up to grasp on to Eddie’s wrists, “Eddie, I’ve waited for so long for you to say that.”

And then there was elation. Unrelenting, unbridled happiness. Eddie could literally jump for joy right then were he not so focused on staring into Buck’s eyes.

“Mi amor.” Eddie smiled, and it was a real smile. A huge smile, that reached his eyes and hurt his face. “Cariño, I’m sorry it took my so long to realize it.”

“I’ve known for a long time,” Buck’s voice was wrecked from the breathing tube, but he pushed on, “I just needed you to get there.”

“I know,” Eddie leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Buck’s forehead, letting his lips linger there, just above his skin, “I know that now.”

He leant back, his hands coming with him, away from Buck’s face, and stared at the man in front of him. His heart physically ached from how much he loved him. It burned in his chest, weighing heavy in his lungs – this feeling of absolute adoration and affection. He wanted to kiss him senseless, but he knew that probably wasn’t the best idea. Whatever infection caused the illness could still be ravaging Buck’s body, or Eddie could introduce some other virus to his already-vulnerable immune system. So he settled for another kiss to the forehead, his right hand pressing into the side of Buck’s head and his left gripping Buck’s hand tightly. He leaned his own head down to rest his cheek on the wild curls below him and hummed softly, and he felt Buck relax underneath him.

“I love you too, you know.” The words broke the silence that had fallen between them.

“I know.” He carded his fingers through Buck’s hair. “I think I’ve always known but I was scared. Scared to risk losing you.”

“I’m not going anywhere Edmundo.” His reply was punctuated with deep, hacking coughs, making Eddie flinch with each burst of pain that was accompanied by Buck trembling in his arms.

“Shh,” Eddie tried to soothe him, “enough talking. I’ll have Abuela bring her famous hot chocolate and you’ll be better in no-time.”

He looked down at his love’s face and saw the slightest grin peak out through the pain.

“It’s been passed down through generations, lemme tell you,” Eddie continued, settling back down in his chair and taking up Buck’s hand in both of his again. “It’s the best medicine for anything that ails you.”

Buck settled back into his bed, his eyes dropping shut as Eddie continued to regale him with the tales of Abuela’s miracle hot chocolate. Despite the pain, the horrible constricting pain that bloomed through his chest, he felt warmth spread through him – it spiderwebbed from his heart and made his belly flip, reaching his fingers and his toes and leaving tingling pin-pricks behind that could only be explained by inexplicable, indescribable, absolute love.

**Author's Note:**

> Pleaaaaase let me know what you think!!!


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